If you read my contribution last week, then you’ll recognize this post. I decided to rewrite last week’s 250 words based on the feedback I got, to see if I could improve the scene. Any comment is welcome! And don’t forget to check out others’ posts, too!
Cory engaged the parking brake on her car and removed the key from the ignition. She’d sent a brief “here” text message when she’d turned down his street, and usually he came out to meet her, but as far as she could see, he was nowhere in sight. It worried her.
It could only mean that he wasn’t having a good day, which meant nothing good for her, either. She shuddered as a memory of the last time she’d caught her boyfriend on a bad day floated to the forefront of her thoughts.
Cory lifted the red and gold embossed envelope from the passenger’s seat, clutching it to her chest. Maybe she would wait to share her news with him, she thought. It would probably just sour his mood further. But she knew if she didn’t tell him now, he’d probably hear it from one of their friends, which would make his disposition worse. After all, big news travels fast in small, rural high school circles.
She tucked the envelope safely into her bag and zippered it shut, absently wrapping her lanyard around her fingers as she exited the car. The keys jingled together as she walked. Without thinking, she began swinging them in the air, letting the lanyard fabric wrap itself around her hand. The twisting and untwisting motions grew faster as she got closer to the door, matching the fluttering feelings in her gut.
She hesitated at the door and, after a beat, knocked to announce her presence. She knew his parents weren’t home, but part of her wanted to give Alex a warning that she was here, that he better get it together and chill himself out if he was in one of his moods.
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